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A Perspective on Narcissism

Why might a being choose the lesson of narcissism for an incarnation? Narcissism is something I have been curious about for a while now, since recognizing the disorder in some of my family members and friends.

The side effects of narcissism can give us quite an education. I am very aware of the damage and destruction this mental disorder can have on our lives and in society at large. Learning about all the aspects surrounding narcissism has helped me to understand some of my relationships better. It has forced me to be more discerning about who I let into my life and to be more firm with my boundaries around those who are in the narcissistic spectrum and it is a lot easier for me to spot the covert narcissist now. Thou I am highly sensitive, I am not an empath, in the clinical sense, who draws narcissists to them in order to heal some part of themselves.

Narcissism, clinically speaking, is a personality disorder. It is a mental condition where people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for attention and admiration from others.  They lack compassion and humanity for others. It is important for all of us to understand the relationship dynamics of how narcissism works in regards to relationship. Everywhere I turn I see narcissism. Narcissism is woven into our reality in the third dimension here at our Earth school. As beings, no matter our gender, we have two sides to us. We have two sides to our brain. We have the more logical, male intellectual side to us and we have the more creative, emotional feminine, side to us. Part of the spiritual journey is to bring these parts of self into balance to become whole.

Narcissism is a very spiritual lesson because the imbalance is part of who we are in the higher dimensions and the Self. The higher self is studying the balance between the feminine and masculine aspects of Self and learning to come into balance within Self.

There are many forms of narcissism which are hidden well from view. So many people in our society have shut the door of dealing with scary emotions or their feminine side. The feminine side connects us to our intuition and our true selves or higher self. Narcissists have aligned instead with their ego/intellect. The narcissist is in denial of the feminine side of their being. And this is also the primary disorder or imbalance of our present society and why the narcissistic disorder is rampant. Living in a male-dominated society where the feminine aspects are denied is the primary lesson of our current Earth cycle. In past Earth cycles, the lesson of the cycle was to live in a society which was in denial of the male aspects of our self and the feminine side of our being was favored.

Narcissism is in everyone’s daily life to varying degrees. Perhaps we are in the narcissistic spectrum ourselves, or we are an empath, who enables the narcissistic disorder. In our self-reflection, it is vital to see where each of us is in the narcissistic spectrum and lesson. How balanced are we with the masculine and feminine side of our own being? Are we in denial of our emotions, intuition and higher self? How aligned have we become with our ego/intellect identity of our self?

Here are some of the indicator questions, which if we answer yes to, may show us we are out of balance with our feminine side: Do we secretly believe we are special and have been misunderstood? Do we have a need to always be in control? Do we greatly dislike when others know of our faults or weaknesses? Have we been accused of being a know-it-all or talking too much by others? Do we feel we have been victimized by life or others? Do we have a hard time taking criticism or suggestions from others?

If we can’t seem to get away from narcissistic abuse, perhaps we need to learn more about the empath or realize we have an imbalance with the male side of us, and we will keep drawing narcissists to abuse us until we heal the imbalance. Empaths, clinically speaking, are highly sensitive people who feel deeply for everyone and want to help and heal others. Because they give too much of themselves, they will take on the pain and abuse from the narcissists until they learn the lesson and can walk away. If we are an empath, we need to become more responsible for our own being and not give way to sacrificing our self for another. In other words, we need to stop being a doormat. We need only take care of our self. We cannot help or save a narcissist. Usually, narcissists deep in the spectrum, do not change or grow out of narcissism. But, we can learn the lesson and grow out of being an empath.

Again, the narcissist for whatever reason made the choice to turn their back on their emotions and their intuition and the connection to their higher self. They deny their feminine side and true self persona and instead accept the shallower version supplied by their ego and intellect. This mask creates a barrier in connecting to their higher self. For many, this choice was made in a previous lifetime. They choose to ask their ego for help rather than looking inward toward their higher self during challenging times in life. They have continued to strengthen this choice over the years until they have completely severed their emotions, intuition and higher dimensional knowing and guidance from their life. Many beings that are on the cusp of narcissism are only slightly, consciously tethered to their emotions and higher self.

The intellectual, smart, covert narcissists are especially hard to recognize. Most of the time, their masks keep them hidden from discovery. It is easier to recognize the vain, shallow or the destructive narcissists whose higher self lives in the lower, darker dimensions. Because they have blocked the connection to their higher self to varying degrees, when a narcissist’s mask slips off, which will happen, the emptiness of their identity can be felt and seen. This is when the narcissistic disorder is revealed… pay attention. Their self-absorption and selfishness become very evident and clear. Their person will feel cold and unempathetic or uncaring. It becomes evident any interest and caring they might show is only part of the mask, so they appear to be a good person to themselves and others. I have found, seeing the cold, emptiness of a narcissist is much easier to see and feel in person, and a little more difficult to see and feel on the phone or in emails and texts.

Because a person with this disorder has blocked their higher self from being very present in their being, what we see and feel is the shell of the body/ego/intellect. To varying degrees, there is no one home but the ego. In a sense, narcissists are zombie-like beings, because they have no tangible depth except for the mask they have created for themselves. They are like a boat without an udder because their intuition and guidance have been blocked. Perhaps we can try to understand the deeper choice for the experience of narcissism in an incarnation.

Narcissism is a very spiritual lesson because the imbalance is part of who we are in the higher dimensions and the Self. The higher self is studying the balance between the feminine and masculine aspects of Self and learning to come into balance within Self. Perhaps in a previous incarnation, they favored their feminine, emotional, creative, intuitive side over their masculine, logical, structured side and created an imbalance that now they are in the process of balancing. Or early in this lifetime, they created the imbalance by favoring the male side of their being. Either way, their being is working on the full lesson of being whole and balanced. I am sure this lesson is something all our beings have worked with or are currently in the process of learning in many of our incarnations.

Narcissism is a lesson each of us needs to solve for ourselves. The only help and support we can offer realistically to someone with this disorder is to protect ourselves from their abuse and not to enable them more. By educating ourselves about the disorder and seeing all the sides of the lesson, we can heal from any abuse which has already happened. The lesson which I have learned is not to expect much affection from those who are on the cusp of narcissism. I have already let go of family and friends who are deep into the spectrum. I let go of those relationships as gently and as final as I could. The relationships were complete and there was no reason for me to keep giving my emotional support to their need for attention or to enable their abuse. This may seem cold or harsh to some, but I see it as self-preservation and healthy.


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings

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How Long Does Purging Take?

I was asked recently: “How long does the purging period take for one’s pre-spiritual life (ridding of toxic friends, unhealthy lifestyle habits, behaviors that no longer resonate with you?”

I can’t really say how long this might take as it is unique to each individual and all situations. It may seem like there is a before and after to our becoming spiritual, but in reality, all life is spiritual and there is no before and after time. For myself, once I get the clear message that change needs to happen in my life, I try and make the changes as quickly and as gracefully as I can, for all the involved parties. My energy always wants to move quickly into what is next for me.

The purging processes is an ongoing process which lasts for the whole of our life. There will always be people who enter our lives, who we will eventually need to let go of for various reasons. We need to keep growing after we received the lesson or fulfilled the karma for why that person was in our life. Along the way, we will always be making lifestyle changes, which supports new growth. After learning to make better choices and to be more discerning as to who and what we let into our lives, the purging can become more refined.

Purging is a sacred, necessary process for us to fully move into the next vibration waiting for us. If we can bless the beings and things and the parts of our self we are letting go of and be kind about it, it is best. We must be responsible for our choices. Purging with consciousness helps us to be more mindful of being a student of the Earth School and to realize every part of existence is designed for our growth and the growth of others. The more we let into our life, the more we will be held responsible for the caring and the letting go of when we or they need to move on. Purging is a lesson in living in balance as well as a lesson in non-attachment and taking responsibility for all of our actions at all levels.


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings

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New Earth Update and Chat Sessions

It Ain’t Over Till the Fat Lady Sings!

I was recently told by MaRae, my higher self, that the Earth has decided to extend the Earth’s current schooling cycle for four to six more years. The extension gives the Earth the opportunity for deeper and intense lessons to be learned and more transformation to take place. So hang on everyone…. “It’s not over till the fat lady sings.”

This also gives us lightworkers a chance to refocus on what is next for us and our own service of shining the light for others. Four to six more years means, much more darkness and weirdness in the world, so hold on to your precious humor and travel with the flow and rhythm of your higher guidance. Thou it is fascinating to watch it all unravel, it is also heartbreaking to see all the suffering happening. The only way out of this cycle gracefully, is for all of us to do our part and stay balanced, grounded and connected to our higher self. It is a must to ask for angelic protection each time we go to sleep or leave the house. We must beware of darkness running amok, causing harm where it can.

MaRae has indicated to me, she would like me to once again offer one-on-one chat sessions and classes. I dropped out from this for a few years and I grew my being more so I could stand fully in the energy of my higher self. And now that we are in the last stretch of this Earth’s teaching cycle, before the New Earth begins, I am being asked to be available during these challenging times. So, I am here and available if there is a need. I have kept my prices affordable to help all.

One more thing I would like to say and that is to enjoy this precious life and honor your body and self for all your efforts and all the hard work you have done on yourself. The Earth feels confident she can go another 4-6 years because there is enough light now from the lightworkers to help keep a balance from darker energies taking over. This is wonderful really. This means in the New Earth, lightworkers who will be choosing to go into this cycle, will be able to experience even higher dimensions now. Also, with the added time, more beings, in general, will have a chance to raise their vibrations to qualify to transfer into the New Earth cycle. So let’s rejoice and be grateful for whatever is and “what will be will be!”


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings

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Enlightenment, Diet and New Earth

I was recently asked if we need to have a completely clean diet in order to reach the stage of enlightenment?

A so called “clean” diet is not a prerequisite to becoming enlightened. The notion of what is “clean” is unique to each individual and levels of enlightenment are relative. However, as we become more conscious, we also become more conscious of what we put into our body and how it affects us. We also become more conscious of how our choices affect others, animals and the environment surrounding food growth, etc. Everything is connected to everything else and it would be unlikely to become enlightened without thinking some of these things through. In a sense, we are what we eat and we need to be responsible on some level for what we consume as humans and as individuals. What we consume can lower or raise our vibration. Thou it is important not to become egoic and judgmental towards our self others around this issue for it is all part of the spiritual path and the lessons and choices we make while incarnated.

Our current, mainstream western diet has become unconscious to an extreme and is a big generator of disease and more unconsciousness. There needs to be an overhaul to the system, and the western way of life and the western way of thinking, as it is a failing system. When we start to eat more consciously and cleanly we are saying “no” to the failing system and asking to participate in a higher vibration. And because more people are saying “no” and more and more people are becoming conscious, the vibration around food is changing and it is affecting consciousness in other areas, like education and medicine/health care, etc.

For myself, I have been guided towards the healthy Keto diet and intermittent fasting which fuels the body on fat rather than glucose. Fat is a cleaner fuel for the body. If done correctly, this diet can bring the body into health and repair and can raise one’s vibration. Diet is an individual choice and part of our lesson learning. I try to eat as cleanly and as healthy as possible. I muscle test my diet so I am eating precisely what my body needs and not my ego/intellect.  I often eat a little organic chicken or wild caught fish for one of my two meals a day.  Thou my personality doesn’t like it, I recognize these bodies are designed to consume animals and there is a soul agreement with them to do so.  Even thou I know this, for myself, I choose not to eat larger animals.

If I could easily be vegetarian and be healthy I would do so. The Keto diet is how I am guided by my body and higher self to eat for now. Many of us struggle to live within the limitations of the current lower dimensional dream of this incarnation. Often we must straddle the fence of the choices between lower and higher dimensions. All we can do is do the best with what we have to work with and modify when our higher guidance or body asks us to do so. It is important to honor these bodies and not override their needs with our higher ideals, but to find a balance for both.

At the beginning of the new dream or New Earth, we will not be eating animals. I am told our bodies will not be fueled on glucose or fat. Our bodies will have a different fuel source because we will live in higher frequencies/dimensions than what we are currently living. Until this time we must each listen to our bodies as well as follow our inner guidance to eat the diet which is best for each of us to be healthy. Health is essential while existing in a failing crumbling system/dream.  These current bodies will not go with us into the new dream… Those of us going into the beginning of the new dream will be given new bodies appropriate for the higher dimensions of the new dream.


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings

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Why Some Move into 5-D Sooner

I was recently asked: “what is the reasons why some people move into the 5th dimension sooner than others?

The Earth is a school consisting of 13 dimensions and not everyone’s being entered the school in the same dimension of learning. There are both young souls and olds here and all are growing at different rates. The school is occurring at both the incarnated state and in the spirit realm on the other side. A common mistake that we all make, is to think we are oranges or all the same; when in fact we are apples and oranges and not the same. We didn’t all start out at this School at the same level.

When we realize this is the case, things will make sense and our understanding of the spiritual journey will broaden. Everyone grows at their own pace. There is not a collective soul thing happening on the Earth like many think. However, a certain number of people do need to be awakened in the higher dimensions in order to bring about the shift into the New Earth. We are very close to this happening. the New Earth will consist of the 6th to 9th dimensions in the beginning because so many beings have already moved into 5th-dimensional awareness for quite a while now. Later on in the schooling of the New Earth, the dimensions will return to like we have now so more beings can incarnate and school.

When beings graduate from the Earth School, there are 3-dimensional levels of graduation which a being can graduate from. The 5th -7th dimension is the first level. The 6th to 9th-dimensional levels are the second level. And the last level is the 9th to 13th dimensions. Graduation will take place fairly soon, for all beings leaving the Earth School, when the Earth switches between the old dream and the new dream of the New Earth.


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings

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How Awakening Changes Our Life

One’s life does change after a spiritual awakening. Each time one has a spiritual awakening their life changes. The perceptions we once had of reality no longer fit. All levels of awakening are different, so all levels of perceptions of reality will be different. But what ultimately happens is the dream which makes this third-dimensional existence seem real falls away. One sees the dream and knows it is only temporary and not reality. One understands the Oneness of the essence. One’s desires and attachments become diminished bringing peace and tranquility to our being. One looks away from finding any real security from the third dimension, but rather looks to their soul and higher self for their security.

The Hindu tradition has described the spiritual path of learning to become like the lotus flower which rises above the murky waters instead of living in the murky water. After awakenings take place, our being begins to live above the murky water of life. We become elevated from the mundane concerns of existence. We still have the mundane in our life but we are not as focused on it as we once were. We have gained broader perceptions of the whole of life. With this new knowledge comes new responsibilities to the knowledge. We are required to be of service to others in different ways.

There will be many changes to our being the deeper we go into awakening. Much of our strong personality will fall away. Many people will shun us as their being feels threatened by the level of our light. They may attack us in subtle and not so subtle ways. Many of us, on the awakening path, have gone or will go through the strippingaway process. which diminishes the ego. We might find ourselves without others around us who understand what is going on for us. The process of awakening for us can be challenging for the other beings around us.

There is a level of spiritual understanding which believes, we as human beings, manifest what is around us, rather than life being a very complicated, intricate system designed for us to awaken from the dream. Because of their ideas around manifestation, these souls, often judge the more advanced souls, whose life is being stripped away, as “less-than” for not being able to control their destiny and make things happen for themselves. When souls awaken beyond the stage of life being about manifestation, they begin to see life is not about controlling and fulfilling our desires, but rather about waking up from the long dark sleep we as humans find ourselves in.


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings

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Endless Levels to Enlightenment

I was recently asked “If there are endless levels to ‘Enlightenment’ what should we be calling the simple realization and acceptance that ‘All is Self’?”

In the past, I have read many enlightened being’s teachings and found altogether they grandly illustrate the varying levels of awakening or enlightenment. Why are there infinite levels of enlightenment? It is because creation exists in infinite dimensions within dimensions, within infinite universes. There is no end!

Our understanding of reality is tied to the dimension our consciousness exists in on the other side. We as humans can only be conscious/awake or enlightened to the dimension which our higher self (spirit self) has evolved into while in the higher dimensions. The chakras of our bodies are tied to all the earth’s dimensions.

The earth is a school of limited dimensions. While here on earth, one’s consciousness or awakening cannot exceed the 13th dimension. Not everyone will graduate from this Earth School in her highest dimensions. When some beings leave here they will go on to other planetary systems (schools) which have higher vibrations than what is available to the Earth.

For others to understand the whole of this answer, their being would need to have evolved into a dimensional understanding which is allowing of this knowledge. It is not the human self which evolves really, but rather, the higher self, spirit-self in the higher dimensions. Having this understanding is another level of enlightenment.

The level of enlightenment which has the understanding that “All is Self” would be the primary understanding of an awakened or enlightened being. One must understand, there are also levels of understanding within this primary understanding of Self. This is yet again, another example of infinite levels of enlightenment or understanding. There will never be a “one-shoe-fits-all” regarding consciousness. And admittedly, some enlightened experiences make it seem like there is the final understanding, until of course, another new level is realized.

While in this human body, we will never be able to identify or name the levels of consciousness, because levels of consciousness are relative. It is impossible to have a standard definition. The confusion around the topic helps with the learning and growing of our being at this 3rd-dimensional level.

I often use the word awakened and levels of awakening instead of the word enlightenment, as it seems to fit and it takes away the authority of the notion of enlightenment from old traditional, teachings, which many have outgrown. Sometimes I use words together like awakening/enlightenment to cover my basis when writing on the topic.  In the end we are using limited words of the third dimension to explain something which is indeed happening beyond the realm of the intellects understanding.


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings