Why might a being choose the lesson of narcissism for an incarnation? Narcissism is something I have been curious about for a while now, since recognizing the disorder in some of my family members and friends.
The side effects of narcissism can give us quite an education. I am very aware of the damage and destruction this mental disorder can have on our lives and in society at large. Learning about all the aspects surrounding narcissism has helped me to understand some of my relationships better. It has forced me to be more discerning about who I let into my life and to be more firm with my boundaries around those who are in the narcissistic spectrum and it is a lot easier for me to spot the covert narcissist now. Thou I am highly sensitive, I am not an empath, in the clinical sense, who draws narcissists to them in order to heal some part of themselves.
Narcissism, clinically speaking, is a personality disorder. It is a mental condition where people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for attention and admiration from others. They lack compassion and humanity for others. It is important for all of us to understand the relationship dynamics of how narcissism works in regards to relationship. Everywhere I turn I see narcissism. Narcissism is woven into our reality in the third dimension here at our Earth school. As beings, no matter our gender, we have two sides to us. We have two sides to our brain. We have the more logical, male intellectual side to us and we have the more creative, emotional feminine, side to us. Part of the spiritual journey is to bring these parts of self into balance to become whole.
Narcissism is a very spiritual lesson because the imbalance is part of who we are in the higher dimensions and the Self. The higher self is studying the balance between the feminine and masculine aspects of Self and learning to come into balance within Self.
There are many forms of narcissism which are hidden well from view. So many people in our society have shut the door of dealing with scary emotions or their feminine side. The feminine side connects us to our intuition and our true selves or higher self. Narcissists have aligned instead with their ego/intellect. The narcissist is in denial of the feminine side of their being. And this is also the primary disorder or imbalance of our present society and why the narcissistic disorder is rampant. Living in a male-dominated society where the feminine aspects are denied is the primary lesson of our current Earth cycle. In past Earth cycles, the lesson of the cycle was to live in a society which was in denial of the male aspects of our self and the feminine side of our being was favored.
Narcissism is in everyone’s daily life to varying degrees. Perhaps we are in the narcissistic spectrum ourselves, or we are an empath, who enables the narcissistic disorder. In our self-reflection, it is vital to see where each of us is in the narcissistic spectrum and lesson. How balanced are we with the masculine and feminine side of our own being? Are we in denial of our emotions, intuition and higher self? How aligned have we become with our ego/intellect identity of our self?
Here are some of the indicator questions, which if we answer yes to, may show us we are out of balance with our feminine side: Do we secretly believe we are special and have been misunderstood? Do we have a need to always be in control? Do we greatly dislike when others know of our faults or weaknesses? Have we been accused of being a know-it-all or talking too much by others? Do we feel we have been victimized by life or others? Do we have a hard time taking criticism or suggestions from others?
If we can’t seem to get away from narcissistic abuse, perhaps we need to learn more about the empath or realize we have an imbalance with the male side of us, and we will keep drawing narcissists to abuse us until we heal the imbalance. Empaths, clinically speaking, are highly sensitive people who feel deeply for everyone and want to help and heal others. Because they give too much of themselves, they will take on the pain and abuse from the narcissists until they learn the lesson and can walk away. If we are an empath, we need to become more responsible for our own being and not give way to sacrificing our self for another. In other words, we need to stop being a doormat. We need only take care of our self. We cannot help or save a narcissist. Usually, narcissists deep in the spectrum, do not change or grow out of narcissism. But, we can learn the lesson and grow out of being an empath.
Again, the narcissist for whatever reason made the choice to turn their back on their emotions and their intuition and the connection to their higher self. They deny their feminine side and true self persona and instead accept the shallower version supplied by their ego and intellect. This mask creates a barrier in connecting to their higher self. For many, this choice was made in a previous lifetime. They choose to ask their ego for help rather than looking inward toward their higher self during challenging times in life. They have continued to strengthen this choice over the years until they have completely severed their emotions, intuition and higher dimensional knowing and guidance from their life. Many beings that are on the cusp of narcissism are only slightly, consciously tethered to their emotions and higher self.
The intellectual, smart, covert narcissists are especially hard to recognize. Most of the time, their masks keep them hidden from discovery. It is easier to recognize the vain, shallow or the destructive narcissists whose higher self lives in the lower, darker dimensions. Because they have blocked the connection to their higher self to varying degrees, when a narcissist’s mask slips off, which will happen, the emptiness of their identity can be felt and seen. This is when the narcissistic disorder is revealed… pay attention. Their self-absorption and selfishness become very evident and clear. Their person will feel cold and unempathetic or uncaring. It becomes evident any interest and caring they might show is only part of the mask, so they appear to be a good person to themselves and others. I have found, seeing the cold, emptiness of a narcissist is much easier to see and feel in person, and a little more difficult to see and feel on the phone or in emails and texts.
Because a person with this disorder has blocked their higher self from being very present in their being, what we see and feel is the shell of the body/ego/intellect. To varying degrees, there is no one home but the ego. In a sense, narcissists are zombie-like beings, because they have no tangible depth except for the mask they have created for themselves. They are like a boat without an udder because their intuition and guidance have been blocked. Perhaps we can try to understand the deeper choice for the experience of narcissism in an incarnation.
Narcissism is a very spiritual lesson because the imbalance is part of who we are in the higher dimensions and the Self. The higher self is studying the balance between the feminine and masculine aspects of Self and learning to come into balance within Self. Perhaps in a previous incarnation, they favored their feminine, emotional, creative, intuitive side over their masculine, logical, structured side and created an imbalance that now they are in the process of balancing. Or early in this lifetime, they created the imbalance by favoring the male side of their being. Either way, their being is working on the full lesson of being whole and balanced. I am sure this lesson is something all our beings have worked with or are currently in the process of learning in many of our incarnations.
Narcissism is a lesson each of us needs to solve for ourselves. The only help and support we can offer realistically to someone with this disorder is to protect ourselves from their abuse and not to enable them more. By educating ourselves about the disorder and seeing all the sides of the lesson, we can heal from any abuse which has already happened. The lesson which I have learned is not to expect much affection from those who are on the cusp of narcissism. I have already let go of family and friends who are deep into the spectrum. I let go of those relationships as gently and as final as I could. The relationships were complete and there was no reason for me to keep giving my emotional support to their need for attention or to enable their abuse. This may seem cold or harsh to some, but I see it as self-preservation and healthy.
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