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A Perspective on Narcissism

Why might a being choose the lesson of narcissism for an incarnation? Narcissism is something I have been curious about for a while now, since recognizing the disorder in some of my family members and friends.

The side effects of narcissism can give us quite an education. I am very aware of the damage and destruction this mental disorder can have on our lives and in society at large. Learning about all the aspects surrounding narcissism has helped me to understand some of my relationships better. It has forced me to be more discerning about who I let into my life and to be more firm with my boundaries around those who are in the narcissistic spectrum and it is a lot easier for me to spot the covert narcissist now. Thou I am highly sensitive, I am not an empath, in the clinical sense, who draws narcissists to them in order to heal some part of themselves.

Narcissism, clinically speaking, is a personality disorder. It is a mental condition where people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for attention and admiration from others.  They lack compassion and humanity for others. It is important for all of us to understand the relationship dynamics of how narcissism works in regards to relationship. Everywhere I turn I see narcissism. Narcissism is woven into our reality in the third dimension here at our Earth school. As beings, no matter our gender, we have two sides to us. We have two sides to our brain. We have the more logical, male intellectual side to us and we have the more creative, emotional feminine, side to us. Part of the spiritual journey is to bring these parts of self into balance to become whole.

Narcissism is a very spiritual lesson because the imbalance is part of who we are in the higher dimensions and the Self. The higher self is studying the balance between the feminine and masculine aspects of Self and learning to come into balance within Self.

There are many forms of narcissism which are hidden well from view. So many people in our society have shut the door of dealing with scary emotions or their feminine side. The feminine side connects us to our intuition and our true selves or higher self. Narcissists have aligned instead with their ego/intellect. The narcissist is in denial of the feminine side of their being. And this is also the primary disorder or imbalance of our present society and why the narcissistic disorder is rampant. Living in a male-dominated society where the feminine aspects are denied is the primary lesson of our current Earth cycle. In past Earth cycles, the lesson of the cycle was to live in a society which was in denial of the male aspects of our self and the feminine side of our being was favored.

Narcissism is in everyone’s daily life to varying degrees. Perhaps we are in the narcissistic spectrum ourselves, or we are an empath, who enables the narcissistic disorder. In our self-reflection, it is vital to see where each of us is in the narcissistic spectrum and lesson. How balanced are we with the masculine and feminine side of our own being? Are we in denial of our emotions, intuition and higher self? How aligned have we become with our ego/intellect identity of our self?

Here are some of the indicator questions, which if we answer yes to, may show us we are out of balance with our feminine side: Do we secretly believe we are special and have been misunderstood? Do we have a need to always be in control? Do we greatly dislike when others know of our faults or weaknesses? Have we been accused of being a know-it-all or talking too much by others? Do we feel we have been victimized by life or others? Do we have a hard time taking criticism or suggestions from others?

If we can’t seem to get away from narcissistic abuse, perhaps we need to learn more about the empath or realize we have an imbalance with the male side of us, and we will keep drawing narcissists to abuse us until we heal the imbalance. Empaths, clinically speaking, are highly sensitive people who feel deeply for everyone and want to help and heal others. Because they give too much of themselves, they will take on the pain and abuse from the narcissists until they learn the lesson and can walk away. If we are an empath, we need to become more responsible for our own being and not give way to sacrificing our self for another. In other words, we need to stop being a doormat. We need only take care of our self. We cannot help or save a narcissist. Usually, narcissists deep in the spectrum, do not change or grow out of narcissism. But, we can learn the lesson and grow out of being an empath.

Again, the narcissist for whatever reason made the choice to turn their back on their emotions and their intuition and the connection to their higher self. They deny their feminine side and true self persona and instead accept the shallower version supplied by their ego and intellect. This mask creates a barrier in connecting to their higher self. For many, this choice was made in a previous lifetime. They choose to ask their ego for help rather than looking inward toward their higher self during challenging times in life. They have continued to strengthen this choice over the years until they have completely severed their emotions, intuition and higher dimensional knowing and guidance from their life. Many beings that are on the cusp of narcissism are only slightly, consciously tethered to their emotions and higher self.

The intellectual, smart, covert narcissists are especially hard to recognize. Most of the time, their masks keep them hidden from discovery. It is easier to recognize the vain, shallow or the destructive narcissists whose higher self lives in the lower, darker dimensions. Because they have blocked the connection to their higher self to varying degrees, when a narcissist’s mask slips off, which will happen, the emptiness of their identity can be felt and seen. This is when the narcissistic disorder is revealed… pay attention. Their self-absorption and selfishness become very evident and clear. Their person will feel cold and unempathetic or uncaring. It becomes evident any interest and caring they might show is only part of the mask, so they appear to be a good person to themselves and others. I have found, seeing the cold, emptiness of a narcissist is much easier to see and feel in person, and a little more difficult to see and feel on the phone or in emails and texts.

Because a person with this disorder has blocked their higher self from being very present in their being, what we see and feel is the shell of the body/ego/intellect. To varying degrees, there is no one home but the ego. In a sense, narcissists are zombie-like beings, because they have no tangible depth except for the mask they have created for themselves. They are like a boat without an udder because their intuition and guidance have been blocked. Perhaps we can try to understand the deeper choice for the experience of narcissism in an incarnation.

Narcissism is a very spiritual lesson because the imbalance is part of who we are in the higher dimensions and the Self. The higher self is studying the balance between the feminine and masculine aspects of Self and learning to come into balance within Self. Perhaps in a previous incarnation, they favored their feminine, emotional, creative, intuitive side over their masculine, logical, structured side and created an imbalance that now they are in the process of balancing. Or early in this lifetime, they created the imbalance by favoring the male side of their being. Either way, their being is working on the full lesson of being whole and balanced. I am sure this lesson is something all our beings have worked with or are currently in the process of learning in many of our incarnations.

Narcissism is a lesson each of us needs to solve for ourselves. The only help and support we can offer realistically to someone with this disorder is to protect ourselves from their abuse and not to enable them more. By educating ourselves about the disorder and seeing all the sides of the lesson, we can heal from any abuse which has already happened. The lesson which I have learned is not to expect much affection from those who are on the cusp of narcissism. I have already let go of family and friends who are deep into the spectrum. I let go of those relationships as gently and as final as I could. The relationships were complete and there was no reason for me to keep giving my emotional support to their need for attention or to enable their abuse. This may seem cold or harsh to some, but I see it as self-preservation and healthy.


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings

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Who Am I As a Higher Being?

I was recently asked “How do I know my type of soul or how advanced my soul is? How do I find out who I am as a higher being?”

These are good things to wonder about. It might take us a long time to find the answers to this information depending on how connected we are to our higher self and how much understanding we have about reality. Our higher self holds the answers to these questions. Other people who channel beings from the other side can give us insights into our being, but sometimes this information is tainted because they themselves, or who they channel, might not be evolved enough to get the information without distortions of their consciousness.

Part of why this information is meaningful is because the process of getting it for our self can be enriching and can broaden our understanding of reality and how creation works. Sometimes the answers won’t come until we have more understanding of such things… they feed each other. It is a bit of puzzle that we need to put together piece by piece for ourselves. And there is nothing more empowering than having clear communication with our higher self. To be able to live our life with such a connection to Self and to get clear guidance is such a joy.

How I began was, I started connecting with my higher self in meditation and then through journaling and asking questions. I made it clear I was not interested in channeling anyone else but my higher self. It is easy to channel other beings but harder to communicate with one’s higher self. Channeled information from others can sometimes help us to know about our Self. However, I often found the channelings from other beings to be somewhat hit and miss and often came with many distortions. Later on my path, I knew I wanted only the help and information from my own being. I practiced for years and years until now I can ask questions and hear and feel the answers or I can write what I hear if something more lengthy is being conveyed. I am in constant communication with my higher self throughout the day.

Higher self is our intuition and also sends us messages through our feelings and dreams. If I were pondering the answers to something in particular my higher self would often speak to me while I was in the shower. This is probably because I was more open to hearing… going for a walk in nature would have a similar effect.  In order to understand where our being is in the order of things, one needs to understand both the order of things and about their own being… these things go hand in hand.


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings

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Endless Levels to Enlightenment

I was recently asked “If there are endless levels to ‘Enlightenment’ what should we be calling the simple realization and acceptance that ‘All is Self’?”

In the past, I have read many enlightened being’s teachings and found altogether they grandly illustrate the varying levels of awakening or enlightenment. Why are there infinite levels of enlightenment? It is because creation exists in infinite dimensions within dimensions, within infinite universes. There is no end!

Our understanding of reality is tied to the dimension our consciousness exists in on the other side. We as humans can only be conscious/awake or enlightened to the dimension which our higher self (spirit self) has evolved into while in the higher dimensions. The chakras of our bodies are tied to all the earth’s dimensions.

The earth is a school of limited dimensions. While here on earth, one’s consciousness or awakening cannot exceed the 13th dimension. Not everyone will graduate from this Earth School in her highest dimensions. When some beings leave here they will go on to other planetary systems (schools) which have higher vibrations than what is available to the Earth.

For others to understand the whole of this answer, their being would need to have evolved into a dimensional understanding which is allowing of this knowledge. It is not the human self which evolves really, but rather, the higher self, spirit-self in the higher dimensions. Having this understanding is another level of enlightenment.

The level of enlightenment which has the understanding that “All is Self” would be the primary understanding of an awakened or enlightened being. One must understand, there are also levels of understanding within this primary understanding of Self. This is yet again, another example of infinite levels of enlightenment or understanding. There will never be a “one-shoe-fits-all” regarding consciousness. And admittedly, some enlightened experiences make it seem like there is the final understanding, until of course, another new level is realized.

While in this human body, we will never be able to identify or name the levels of consciousness, because levels of consciousness are relative. It is impossible to have a standard definition. The confusion around the topic helps with the learning and growing of our being at this 3rd-dimensional level.

I often use the word awakened and levels of awakening instead of the word enlightenment, as it seems to fit and it takes away the authority of the notion of enlightenment from old traditional, teachings, which many have outgrown. Sometimes I use words together like awakening/enlightenment to cover my basis when writing on the topic.  In the end we are using limited words of the third dimension to explain something which is indeed happening beyond the realm of the intellects understanding.


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings

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The New Earth is Near

We are at the crossroads between the end of one dream cycle and the beginning of the next dream cycle on the teaching field of the earth school.  MaRae, my higher self, was already awakened and was residing in the highest dimensions before coming to earth, so her perspective is unique and supreme. I look forward to sharing some of what I have learned. Here is our new video, I hope it is useful on your journey.


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings

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Our Soul Gives Us Our Thoughts

At the broadest perspective or understanding, the soul is the fire which animates these bodies and all things, so yes the soul generates all of our thoughts at various levels including thoughts from the brain’s ego, intellect, and mind chatter.

The soul also generates the thoughts and feelings which come from our emotions. The more elevated we become in our vibration, the more our thoughts will come directly from our soul/higher self in the higher dimensions of self.

When we align ourselves with our higher self and soul, we become a completely guided individual. If we pay attention we will be able to use our thoughts as part of the governing factor which guides us and gives us understanding.  Until the time we are aligned many of our thoughts come from our ego and it will be difficult to separate the two sources.

And as we travel on our spiritual path and we will be able to decipher the more subtle energies of the soul/higher self, and this will help lead us to a more direct connection with our soul / higher self. This connection is sublime. This is how I have precisely been able to push the boundaries of the higher dimensions at this earth school. This is how I directly hear and communicate with my higher self all throughout the day with all things matter great and small.

In the past, when I have pushed through higher dimensional realities, thoughts came to me like breadcrumbs leading me to new pathways of understanding. This stretched my knowledge/understanding beyond what was previously normal for me. Little by little the mind stretches to take in the new perceptions and understanding that came. This is also how we can go deep and directly connect to the energy of the Universal Soul of all things.


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings

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Is This All A Dream?

Recently I was asked: “Since everything feels completely realistic while dreaming, why is it dismissed that our existence while awake is an illusion?”

I have often marveled how few people question what this reality is. Of course, the deeper one goes down the consciousness rabbit hole, the more one finds out this too is a type of dream. I have watched many spiritually advanced friends struggle to remember that this life is a dream especially when they are caught up in emotional pain. I have crossed the line so that I pretty much know this reality is a dream most of the time. The dream is clearly seen by me.

I also marvel that people don’t question more why we dream and the necessity for us to get a good night sleep in order to stay healthy and live. Lucid dreams, or the dreams which stand out, are easy to remember. They are vignettes of our higher self carrying-on, on the other side in the higher dimensions. When we sleep as humans we are awake in the higher dimensions and when are awake here, we are in a rest mode there.

The earth school we attend is finishing up the current teaching cycle. This is why things in our civilization seem to be falling apart. People have become polarized in their beliefs and life is intense. Fukushima, Japan continues to dump radiation into the ocean. The plastic around the earth is threatening our ecosystem etc. Climate change is real, thou, it is not man-made…. It is happening because the dream we are living in is about to change to a new dream with the help of a pole shift. Pole shifts and dream changes happen about every 10 thousand years.

The dream before this dream was called Atlantis and the dream before that was called Lemuria. In our current cycle, we have a male dominant perspective. In Lemuria, we had a female dominant perspective. For all kinds of soul growth, it is important for the teaching curriculum of the earth to change every so often. Each time the curriculum changes, great care goes into making the school setting seem as real as possible… as if it has always been this way and things evolve. Evolution is a mere dream. I have recollections of other dream cycles of this earth school. My being has participated in dream changes many times and I have memories of the change.

If we take an honest look at our civilization’s current situation, we know there is no possible way for us to evolve out of this mess. Many who have yet to realize this is a dream are scared to death about what seems to be happening to our world and rightfully so. The scare is helping many to awaken. The new dream will start out with a civilization who is more advanced and more consciously awake. The darker energies who are currently in the old dream will not be allowed into the beginning of the new dream. The new dream will start out as a time of peace and joy.


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings

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Unconditional Love for Humanity?

treks-best-villains-20090429034500466-000-e1549581080657.jpgI was recently asked if I have unconditional love for all of humanity?

Here is my  human answer! I am aware the answer might not be politically correct for some beings, where only unconditional love is acceptable. In this incarnation, I am more concerned about being real and true to my higher self than pretending I have not grown tired of the shenanigans of dark energies on the planet.

The answer is yes and no. Yes, at the highest level of my being (my higher self), I do have unconditional love for all and this is my true self. In the highest of dimensions, I have no prejudices and I have understanding and empathy for even the darkest of beings. And much of this reality comes through to my human self as a result of my spiritual growth. However, this human can sometimes be conditional depending on the situation I find myself in. And this is okay with me, for I know I have already evolved myself to be unconditional in the higher dimensions and sometimes being conditional is the way we need to go while in this human experience.

Even thou I know this earth is a school with a broad spectrum of light energies for students, I sometimes grow tired and lack patience with dark, stuck energies. These energies get great joy in making life miserable for all of us. I am soul tired and want to be done babysitting this type of dark energy, who really doesn’t care about others and doesn’t want to grow and learn. I am a forgiving person and if someone wants to grow I will always help them and give them a chance to do so.

There is a very dark energy group at our earth school. They are bullies and always want to be in control. They provide valuable lessons to be learned by all of us, but still, they are tiresome. They are greedy and power-hungry haters. I am tired of their psychic attacks towards me and all who shine the light. They secretly covet other’s light without doing the work to spiritually evolve. Thou our lessons with them are unpleasant, we are able to grow stronger from our interactions irregardless.

This dark, slow to grow group, will need to leave the teaching-field for a while due to the soon-to-come cosmic changes in the earth school’s curriculum. The very dark are ignorant, fighting not to leave the teaching-field, while trying to hold on to their false power and their twisted notion of who they think they are. I hope the change brings evolutionary growth to this group of beings.


Copyright © 2012 – 2019 All Rights Reserved Sheilan/Infinite Living Teachings